Crank High Voltage *


Jason Statham and Amy Smart in "Crank High Voltage"

I loved the original “Crank”.  It was over the top ridiculous but it was entertaining from start to finish.  It seemed to be going for broke.  At the end the hero fell to his death from a helicopter.  How is there a sequel you ask?  Turns out falling hundreds of stories didn’t kill the seemingly indestructible Chev Chelios.  The sequel, titled “Crank High Voltage” is just plain stupid, racist, twisted, bizarre and grossly violent.  I did not like it at all.

The plot this time involves Chelios frantically trying to track down his heart, which has been stolen by Chinese gangsters.  He is running on a battery powered heart, which requires massive jolts of electricity every hour or so.  This involves watching Chelios jump start his nipples from a car battery, shocking himself with stun guns and dog training equipment, and pretty much abusing any source of electricity.  At one point he simply rubs up against unsuspecting bystanders for the static.

What we get this time around is not the entertaining jaunt we had in the original, but an odyssey of unpleasantness.  The characters we meet are racist, cruel, and pretty much operating on one personality trait.  All the women seem to be either strippers, prostitutes, or at least treated as either. In the original there was a rather funny scene where Statham had to have sex with Amy Smart in public.  The same happens again, but this time it becomes pretty much porn. 

The action this time also is confusing and chaotic.  There is no rhythm to the movie at all.  I think the overall problem I had is that this sequel is not needed at all.  The man died in the first film. Leave it at that.


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